Writing, for me, began randomly one day with a spark of idea and the fire to create. In the blink of an eye, it seemed, my story was finished and my brain overflowed with ideas begging their due attention. With all the excitement of my new found passion, I decided to become an author. I wanted to see my stories published and shared the world over.
Little did I know, writing was the easy part.
After loads of research and boring, yet helpful, reads, I found there was a staircase before me. The top high in the distance and many steps in between, some massive and some small.
So, as I often do to keep my self on track, I made a list that went exactly like this. Write, become member of writing associations, write, find local editor, write, create website and blog, write, research agents, write, write query letter, write. I’ve managed to cram other steps along the way, ones I picked up from writer friends. Such as tweet, take self editing class, plotting class and join a critique group.
In all of my plotting and planning I never thought of my self as selfish, self centered, or egotistical. It was work. Work I loved and still do. But when I started tweeting and went live with my blog and website, whoa, it creeped me out.
I was at the beginning of my journey with no fancy book covers to flash over my website. I commissioned two friends to create my logo and take my fancy pictures to decorate my web spaces. And I loved them, until I went live. After, I felt uncomfortably narcissistic because I shouted to the world, “Look at me!”
“Look what I can do!”
I hope you enjoyed the Ode to Stuart!
Now, I focus on the goal, the publication light at the top of the stairs, and don’t fear I’m going to fall in love with my refection and die from the inability to leave it. Neither am I going to cringe every time I see my reflection hoisted on the web for all to see. (Haha, such a nerd. It’s the title of the first novel I wrote.)
With our lives, even as non-writers, on the sticky web for the world to see, have you ever felt a tad narcissistic? Uncomfortable with the public light, no matter how dim?